A taste of forbidden fruit (so-so good)

My month of madness is drawing to a close
In next to no time, it will be yet another memory
That began with a coffee at midday on a Friday
As June made ready to bid yet another adieu
Of illicit hellos, g'nights and craziness in between
Of emojis, oh-goodness so many emojis
Butterfly kisses, star-filled skies, fireworks and explosions, monkeys and horses
Of poetry, some so sensual, and risqué memes
Of polite hellos
That god-knows-how morphed into words that burned through my phone
To ignite quite-forgotten urges and wants
Warning signs were there
Those tell-tale 100% emojis that I had heard before
Knowing deep-down they perhaps were not so
Yet another fire monkey leading me down a scorching path
Where I would get burnt, stumble and then alone
Get up to brush off the remnants of a torrid interlude
There is no anger, there is hardly any pain
It was two adults in their cone of silence
Eating of forbidden fruit
We were but novelties, one to the other
Fully aware that novelties must wear thin
So tis best to leave before they become flimsy and worthless
Memories of forbidden fruit are so much more delicious, after all
So, to my fire monkey poet, July was short-lived but such a pleasure.

My Madness

Diary entry June 3, 2017

You are my first thought in the morning
And yours is the last face I see at night
You do not haunt my dreams,
Though I wish and sometimes pray you would
Memories of you flood my day,
Whether at work, sitting in a bus or whiling my time away
Ours was a friendship, nothing more, I tell myself
But that is a lie …
It was a friendship, true, but peppered with moments of madness
Sitting in my favourite bar, talking about worldly things and absolute nonsense
All in the same breath
You whispering dirty sweet-nothings in my ear
Drinking Champagne, holding hands under the table
Devouring each other without ever possessing the other’s body…
Though I wish now that we had,
All those times you were so willing and I was just so foolish
So scared to venture into an unknown
So stupid to believe in fidelity and morals
Which someone else so easily had dumped by my bedside
I remember you, the man you were to me…
Bigger than life, big-hearted
My big fella, as you would always say
Funny, humble, with eyes only for me
Even when deep in a madding crowd of young, beautiful people
It has been but three years since you died
But feels like eternity
It must be madness
To want, really want, no other than what is now just a memory?
It must be madness to beg you before I fall into a fitful sleep each night
That should we meet in a next life, remember the woman
Who, in your own words…
Was oh-so-fuckable in her fifties
And seriously sexy when she turned sixty
I hope you do because …
I will know you. I will want you. I will have you. My madness.